Planets rotate in the sky
Slowly pass me by
I hold on dangling so high
Can’t find place to land
People all around me stand
Who will take my hand?
Ground keeps shifting in this race
Can’t hold onto space
I blink, I’m in a different place
Endless hall of mirrors
Time’s mirages – minutes, years
Ringing in my ears
Grains of sand spill out, away
I can’t make them stay
Clashing notes and strange tunes play
Running through my mind
Memory clips repeat, rewind
Searching – what to find?
I see you walking off into the sunset
And I’m standing here alone
I see webs woven around you
While I sit apart on a stone
I see your ships all coming in
But mine is lost at sea
I see your doors open and close behind you
While I can’t even find my key
I know the facts are what is real
And don’t always match how I feel
I know how tempting things can look
The flashy cover on a book
I know that trust means stepping back
And praying I’m on the right track
I know there is a master plan
And I just take each step I can
What do words mean? Tell me without words
They’re mere vibrations lost in the air
A finite selection of sounds and pauses
Only make sense if a listener is there
The speaker thinks this, says that, this way
The hearer gets half and imagines more
Memory selectively picks, stores, recalls
Words lost or altered while feelings endure
Words everywhere, all the time, drowning in words
In one place harmless and another place betray
Speak your own ruin before you can stop it
Til you find yourself tied up with no words to say
What enormous power in words can be had
For they can work great good or unending bad
I stepped out and I fell in
The ledge I trusted was too thin
I reached and got my fingers stepped on
I found out I was a pawn
I cannot show my pain to you
Since using others is all you do
But still it hurts me just the same
Like I’m the loser in your game
I see now how I was misled
And know what I will do instead
To let go of the pain I feel
And help the wounds recede and heal
Feels like it’s all turned bitter now
The sting of looking like a fool
The burn of being tricked and used
The pieces of each broken rule
The absence of the web I built
The hole where all my work has gone
The yank of being on your string
The frozen shock of being wrong
I feel if I could make you pay
To show that I was really right
Then I could leave this hurt behind
But really this is my own fight
It’s okay, it just takes more time
It hurts but slowly it will heal
I’ve grown and learned and shared myself
I know that what I did was real
It hurts to keep on falling down
To spend time getting off the ground
I wish for perfect, no mistakes
But now I see the time it takes
Until the skill is learned and found
It hurts to try the best I know
Then pangs of judgement haunt me so
I want to always call it right
But I can’t tell from this new height
Always the certain way to go
It hurts to walk in paths so new
Break in a trail where thickets grew
I look for markers of the way
But I can’t in the safe place stay
And reach the place I should be too
Sometimes it feels so hard to do
But the only way forward is through
