Sunlight and Shadows

Finding poetry in star dust, sunbeams, and passing clouds

Category: Heartache

  • Running in Circles

    Slamming up against the wall

    Bouncing back just like a ball

    Running fast from what’s inside

    Just to hit the other side

    I’m stuck in here, I can’t get out

    Boxed in by my fear and doubt

    Prison walls inside my head

    Thoughts so deep they can’t be said

    Afraid to let in any light

    Lest my fragile dreams take flight

    If I keep them locked away

    They still could come somehow, some day

    I just imagine what should be

    And filter in reality

    Float each hope up to the top

    Knowing bubbles always pop

    Round and round this track I go

    Endless loops of high and low

    Unless, until I find the key

    To open up the door for me

    ,

  • Nothing After All

    Something sparkly

    Dancing sunlight blinding your eyes

    But now all you see is shadows

    Something flashy

    Colorful rainbow leading somewhere far away

    But now all you feel is raindrops

    Something charming

    Mystic pied piper’s tune captivating

    But now all you hear is flat notes

    Something exquisite

    Silky strands of velvet, sitting on a cloud

    But now all you touch is fake fur

    Something intoxicating

    Warm sweetness thrilling the senses

    But now all you taste is bitterness

    ,

  • Tangled

    That thing I said I didn’t mean

    The pain inside no one has seen

    The thoughts that tumble round and round

    The feelings that turn upside down

    The mixed-up things deep down inside

    The worries that I cannot hide

    The judgements that I cannot make

    The chances that I shouldn’t take

    The indecision on what is right

    The worldview of black and white

    The gloomy shadows that come at night

    The days that try to make things right

    ,

  • In Pursuit

    You haunt me from

    The shadows. You’re always just

    Around the corner waiting

    For the moment of vulnerability, of

    Darkness. To descend.

    I fall

    Into the circling spiral of the past.

    To carry again the excruciating

    Weight, the hauntedness, the

    Helplessness, the lies,

    Of you, Guilt.

    You try to suffocate me

    In failure, in fear. I fight.

    I will win. I will not give in.

    I take control.

    ,

  • Drive

    Whatever you want, you want it so badly

    You pour in your heart so deeply, completely

    You hold on so tight, there is no room to breathe

    And keep your eyes shut so you can believe

    Whatever you want, you will not let go

    Or step back or look up or even walk slow

    Instead you dive in head first off the brink

    Need only to feel, never stopping to think

    Just look through that feeling, it colors your world

    A fantasy glamorized, glittered, and pearled

    Until life steals the rose glasses away

    Then every color that you see is gray

    Whatever you want, you better be sure

    For fancies fly quickly and failures endure

    But do not let go of hope that is real

    For faith lives beyond whatever you feel

    ,

  • One More Try

    Asking, seeking, looking, knocking

    Rising, plodding, stepping, walking

    Holding hopes and crying tears

    Keeping dreams and having fears

    Rising up to step once more

    Asking for an open door

    Doubting, lacking, missing, stalling

    Failing, sinking, losing, falling,

    Taking hits and ending dreams

    Dropping hopes and tearing seams

    Failing every time I try

    Doubting if I’ll ever fly

    Finding, staying, being, knowing,

    Reaching, healing, loving, growing

    Gaining trust and forging ties

    Healing wounds and changing lies

    Reaching for a better place

    Finding safety, peace, and grace

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